I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
If that was your dad, he is hot
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Randomize
