I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Randomize
