I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
