ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
