Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Randomize
