just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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