It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
