Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
