Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
