So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Randomize
