Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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