btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
