she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
