I would go down on you faster than GM stock
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I'm just crazy horny about you
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
