$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
