Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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