When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
