dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Randomize
