While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Randomize
