I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
