he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
