We won't sleep together?
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
