Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Randomize
