lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Randomize
