it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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