He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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