i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Randomize
