I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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