Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
