I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
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