I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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