Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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