can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize