remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
