I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize
