yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize
