I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
