TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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