Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
