So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
