Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
