You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
