You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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