I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
