Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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