Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
