I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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