So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
