guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Randomize
