he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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