we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
