I wanna passion pit in your ass
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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