Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
