Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Gay?
German.
Pity.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
