I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
