i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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