Yo dont text me then not text me
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Randomize
