Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
